home or homesick; or, how I learned how to stop worrying about home and chill the fuck out.

so as much as these previous days have been very up and down, at this moment I feel the most complete and fulfilled I have felt in a very long time and for that I am infinitely thankful.

I am thankful I am finally seeing the one thing europe has over the rest of the first world: quality of life over quantity of stuff. because this trip is costing me money, costing me double. the money flooding out of my money belt and the hours I'm not putting in, the commission I'm not counting on, the abstract numbers I check once a week that keep growing and growing toward an unspecified and important, responsible conclusion.

I am thankful I am finally learning to live in the mañana of now because while this trip is costing me columns of abstract calculation, this moment seems like I could stretch it out into forever, like saltwater taffy made out of pure gold, sinewy ropes mere molecules wide wrapping from los angeles, california to cadiz, andalucia and back again an almost infinite number of times shining like a thousand suns, lighting up lonesome sunrises and night skies full of nowhere to go but forward.

And for this I am infinitely thankful.